Box of Rocks

 

      Joei and I started off on our journey. “Where do you want to go?” she asked.
     “We could go to Atomic CDs and then to 7-11 to get-”
     “Monterey Jacks!” we both said aloud. We laughed and anticipated the goodness of the chicken wrap with the cheese melting inside. As we were walking, a breeze came and tickled my ears with coldness. “My ears are cold,” I told her.
     “So are mine. Brrr,” she exclaimed.
     “No they’re not! You have a nice, warm, wool hat on!” I said in an outrage.
     “Ok, well maybe not as much as yours. Fine, I’ll take it off so that we are equally cold.”
     “That won’t do anything except create four frozen ears instead of only two,” I said.
     “Well,” Joei said trying to think of a plan. Finally she spat out, “We can both wear it! I’ll share!”
     “What? Both of our heads can’t fit in there! Are you crazy?”
     “No it will work. The hat is big enough.” With that, we put our heads together, cheek to cheek, and Joei fitted the hat over her head and then over mine. Our heads had just made it inside the hat to be warm and to cover our ears. We walked along Bridge Avenue like Siamese twins with our heads stuck together. We got so many stares that it wouldn’t be unusual if we had caused an accident. Our bellies vibrated with laughter as we tried to walk straight and without tripping. Then when we finally made it to Atomic CDs, we took the hat off to reveal two nests of hair on top of our heads.
     Inside Atomic, we regained our warmth and looked around to see if we wanted to buy anything. We finally decided to get a package of rubber bracelets and then we were on our way to the glorious Monterey Jacks!
     “How many bracelets do you have now?” I asked Joei as we waited for a clear spot in the traffic to walk across.
     “I don’t know. Let me count them.” She started taking two at a time to count. “Five, ten...”
     “What? You counted ten but you only moved four!” I pointed out to her. We both started laughing so hard that we couldn’t breathe.
     We finally arrived at 7-11 and ran to the display of hot food for sale. But to our dismay, all the Monterey Jacks were sold out. We stopped in our tracks and pouted. But maybe we could try another kind of hot food just like the Monterey Jack and maybe it will be just as good. So we both bought another hot wrap, one that was wishing it could be a Monterey Jack. We bit into it and almost burned our tongues off. It was a lot spicier than a Monterey Jack and we didn’t like it.
     So we decided to continue our journey. We kept walking up Bridge Avenue. And as we walked, we talked. “You know what I was thinking?” I asked her.
     “What?”
     “If the plural of mouse is mice, then why isn’t the plural for house hice?”
     She started laughing. “I don’t know, because our language is messed up? We can’t say ‘I have mice in my hice!’ or ‘I have mouses in my houses!’” Joei said.
     We walked some more. “I’m writing a story for English. It is very good and exciting. When you read it, it will keep you on the edge of your seat!” I said.
     “But what if I’m standing?” she asked.
     “Well then, it will keep you on your tippy toes!”
     “I don’t want to go to lab tomorrow.” Joei told me with a sad face.
     “Why not?” I asked.
     “Because we’re making peanut brittle and I’m afraid of peanut butter.”
     “Well, maybe you can say that you’re allergic to peanuts,” I suggested.
     “That’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that before?”
     “Oh, maybe because you’re dumber than a box of rocks,” I said and started laughing. Joei couldn’t even take it as an insult because she was laughing much too hard to defend herself.
     “I once had a pet rock,” she finally muttered out after five minutes of laughter.
     “What was its name?”
     “It doesn’t have one.”
     “You had a pet rock but it didn’t have a name? I want a pet rock!”
     “Well, if mine ever has babies I’ll give you one.”
     We finally arrived at dollar tree. We looked around at the stuff. Joei saw something that caught her eye. It was Rice-a-Roni. “What are you going to do with that?” I asked.
     “Go home and cook it!” she said happily.
     “You’re such a dork.”
     Then we walked across to Rite Aid to buy a DVD. As we were shopping, we came across our gym teacher. “Miss C, guess what? I kissed that boy that I liked yesterday!” Joei said.
     “Oh, that’s cool,” she said as she laughed a little. “See you guys in gym tomorrow.”
     “Who does that?” I jeered at Joei.
     “What?” she asked cluelessly.
     “You don’t tell your gym teacher about your personal life! She doesn’t care!” I told her.
     “Well I was just thinking about it and I got excited and that the first thing that popped out of my mouth. Besides, she loves us. She always puts us on the same team in gym because she knows we’re friends.”
     After Rite Aid it was starting to get late, so we decided to start going home. “You know what makes me mad?” Joei said.
     “What?” I asked.
     “In karate, I can’t get this one effing kick!”
     “Effing?” I asked in wonderment.
     “Yeah, I say that instead of the real bad word,” she said.
     “Oh. Well what does the kick look like?” I asked. Joei did the kick. It looked really good and I didn’t know what was wrong with it. When she finished she said, “Oh my God! I did it!” Then she gave me a hug and thanked me for asking about it. When she stopped hugging me she looked in the street, turned and punched me in the arm.
     “Hey what was that for?” I asked rubbing my arm.
     “Blue mini-van, no punch backs!”
     “That only works for Voltswagon Beetles!”
     “And mini-vans!” she said. I just shuck my head pitifully. We approached our separation point and I had to wait for her to cross the street safely before I could leave. “See you tomorrow!” she said as she ran across the street. “Box of rocks!” she laughed.